With the rising popularity of mixed martial arts, mostly thanks to organizations like UFC and PrideFC, fans of the sport seem to think that anyone who knows any form of martial art is all about kicking ass. Little do they realize that most martial arts are primarily based on defensive skills and not intended to do any more harm to an attacker than is absolutely necessary. While being great for training the body, in reality 90% of what martial arts teaches you will be completely ineffectual in a real-world fight. That’s cool with me because I’m only into inflicting long-lasting psychological injuries. Most fights inevitably go to the ground which is where you naturally go for the throat and testes.
I’m currently working on developing my own martial art. Thus far it consists primarily of biting, pinching, eye-gouging, groin shots, eye pokes and fish-hooking. Now that I think of it I’ll have to add neck punching, can’t forget neck punching. I look forward to being able to summon fiery dragons with my chi.
I got into a fight with a really fat kid when I was younger. He got me on the ground and laid his substantial girth across my face. After about 15 seconds I bit his stomach, stood up and kicked him in the back. I should have put that tubby bastard into the sharpshooter. That would be a kick ass way to end a fight.
My brother put me in the sharpshooter once. He was a prick
I came across an article a while ago about a Chicago-area police crossing guard who was fired for drinking his own urine in public. He was eventually fired for doing it in uniform while extolling the virtues of ingesting ones own urine on the basis of it’s restorative properties. If you really think about it not much would bother me either way with his position. Mostly I’d be too busy freaking out about the fact I was drinking my own piss.
I was just thinking about Warren Ellis’ Bad World comic, and how well this guy would fit in, but then I remembered they already had a piss drinker in that one. Shameful. If you are going to be a disgusting crazy freak at least be a disgusting crazy freak in an original way for fuck’s sake.
From the article :
Danis is convinced that the medical establishment is trying to keep urine therapy a secret. “I think someone in the medical lobby got to the chief of police,” he said. “They don’t want this out.”
Yes, Mr. Danis, because reason dictates someone must have been coerced into having a problem with a piss-drinker. Then again they’re probably afraid people will find out thats how Dick Cheney stays alive. Between drinking piss and eating babies, he’s gonna live to be 500.
Now if you will excuse me I’m going to go microwave a canteloupe and make sweet sweet love to it. It’s not a sex thing, my juicer is just on the fritz.
Let me tell you about spoons! I know things, horrible things, things the mind cannot accept without slipping into insanity! You think you know spoons, you don’t. Everything you think you know is just a fairy tale conjured up by society to protect the weak-willed. So don’t you dare insult spoons, for they are the crushers of souls!
Towel Day is celebrated every May 25 as a tribute by fans of the late author Douglas Adams. The commemoration was first held in 2001, two weeks after his death on May 11, and since then has been extended to an annual event. On this day, fans carry a towel with them throughout the day. The towel is a reference to Adams’s popular science fiction comedy series The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.
Other possible dates were 11 February (42nd day of the year), 11 March (Birthday), 11 May (his death), and 2 April (4/2). 25 May was chosen because it was as close to his death as expedient notification of fans could allow, and kept by custom although there were some attempts to switch to one of the alternate dates.
I’d have taken my towel to work, but explaining that to the knuckle-dragging, mouth-breathers I work with would have taken all day.
… Smirnoff Fire! Imagine licorice and cheap high-sodium chipotle sauce mixed with dollar-store grapefruit and prune juice. That’s seriously what it tastes like. I’m… well… going to go vomit now.
Jamie just graduated from the Arts Journalism Program at Syracuse University’s Newhouse School. Amanda and the rest of the fam spent the weekend in New York for the occasion (my ticket must have gotten lost in the mail). Now all she needs to do is figure out the best place to put the pulitzer. Congrats!
Everyone noticed my abrupt disappearance two weeks ago. I’m fairly certain the power supply I got with my new computer was faulty. The system worked oddly for about two days, then crapped out completely and wouldn’t even POST. I sent the motherboard back to get a replacement, but when it didn’t show up last week I opted to put my old motherboard back in the case and use it for the time being. Problem is it’s now doing the same thing the new motherboard did.
When I get the board back from ASUS I’ll set it up with my old power supply. If that works I’m going to RMA the power supply because it’s more than likely causing my problems. It’s just gonna suck if I can’t get my old motherboard working because it’s been my faithful backup for over 5 years. Not to mention the fact that someone wants to buy it from me… crap.
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-:- Topic (#slackware): (esteem) Rudeboy is hot
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